Thursday, October 18, 2018

A travel through Life's lessons

Do you ever get that gnawing feeling inside yourself where you start asking yourself “what am I doing here?” until it becomes a constant hum in your mind’s backdrop that slowly swells and reaches a crescendo? Do you sometimes feel wrong footed because of the curve balls life tends to throw at you? Do you sometimes feel that you don’t belong here but somewhere else, a place where you will be able to meet your tribe, your people, who will understand you even if you don’t share the same familial ties, speak the same language or eat the same food? If you do, welcome to the club!

As an extremely socially awkward human being who’d rather bite her arm off than engaging in a conversation with others, a travelling bucket list seems to be a dream too good to be true. However, now that the Blindlist has sparked ideas in my mind, here are the places (imaginary or otherwise) where I’d  want to travel to experience life like never before:

1.       The Land of Silence: There’s this place caught somewhere between the late hours of night and the break of dawn and which has placid waters and still air and the weightless weight of silence. This land, as the name suggests, is the one to go to in case you want to spend some time on introspection. This would be my first stop while on my Blindlist travel to pause, breathe, think and reflect on what life so far has been and what it should be from the present moment on. My visit to the land of silence would be silence the fears, worries and regrets in my mind so that I can look deep inside myself, because more often than not, you tend to find the answer you are looking for inside you. This land, with its water without ripples, trees without rustling leaves and sense of lightness will help me realize what my next steps should be rather than what I feel pressured to do.

2.       The Land of Kindness: This little strait of land can be found appearing anywhere the sounds of laughter, chatter and friendly talks override the murmurs of disapproval, judgement and gossip. You will know this land when you see it because of the shimmering borders that tend to expand and engulf the surrounding areas. Once I step out of the Land of Silence, I will go in search of the Land of Kindness, because this is where I will learn to be kind to not just others but myself. This land, with its calm breeze, pale pink blossomed trees and the earthy scent of land after the first rain will help me learn to look at myself and others with kindness and master the most difficult art of forgiving.

3.       Ubuntu: This land, with its red soil, blue skies and green pastures is the next place I’d visit because this is where I would overcome my fear of being judged and understand what acceptance. Unlike the other two lands, this land is inhibited with people, animals and birds and is a little tricky to find. This is the place where I would learn to shed my inhibitions and worries of being judged, and allow myself to become one with humanity. This is the land that will teach me that I am because You are, the literal meaning of Ubuntu. This is the place I will learn to speak with kids through action without a language, this is the place I will receive a warm hug and food from a nonna, this is the place I will learn to laugh with a group of teenaged girls because it’s here the essence of life lives on.

4.       The Life: The final destination that I plan to visit is The Life, a land I wouldn’t even know I have stepped into until I have walked well past its borders. If I were any wiser from my previous travels, I’d know that my journey through this land has just begun and will not be ending any time soon. I’d hope that whatever I learnt in my previous visits would be put to good use and help me learn to live and love life and make it count.

Posted as part of Indiblogger Contest in association with Luftansa to #sayyestotheworld and go through #theblindlist

Monday, January 8, 2018

Dear Anshu

Dear Anshu,

I am not sure when you will read it, and if you will read it at all. But in case you stumble upon these letters, just know that I am writing to you to tell you all that I’ve seen, heard and learned right through my twenties, and now in my thirties. In the hubbub of routine, job, school and just life, I don’t know, maybe you and I might not sit down and have these talks. Or maybe we will.  

But whether we do or don’t, if you ever want to read through what runs in my head, this is where you should head. It’s not pearls of wisdom or any magical formula, it’s just my take on things.  It is everything I want to tell you, woman to woman, as your mom, friend, and confidante (hopefully!). It is everything I want you to know if I don’t get around to telling you myself when the time comes. 

I want to do something for me. I want you to go find a mirror, take a deep look at yourself and say these words: “I love you, you are beautiful and you are the best!” Sounds absurd? Well, it might, at first; but you need to know that you have to allow yourself to feel loved before you get to hear it from anyone else. You need to look at yourself and learn to love what you see; every curve, every blemish, every imperfection, dent and broken bit, before you can expect or hope that someone else would look through the debris and find the real you. 

I have learnt it the hard way that sometimes, you don’t give yourself the permission to be loved or deemed smart, beautiful or brave unless you meet with someone else’s definition or guidelines on the established criteria. I get it. The world around has set so many expectations up on us that says that we need to fit into one of those boxes before we are deemed to be loveable. You know what, to hell with it. 

I want you to work on getting the love of the only one that matters; you. I want you to look at yourself and love what you see, any time, every time. I want you to know that it’s not narcissistic to love yourself and want to look beautiful. It’s true that beauty is not skin deep, but it doesn’t hurt to put in an effort to show yourself off a bit. If you want to be a princess, go right ahead, sweetheart. All I’d say, quoting what a colleague once said, is to be a princess who’d gladly kick someone’s ass if they got in her way.  If you’d rather choose to be not a princess, that’s awesome too; whatever works for you. 

.All I want you to do is wake up and look in the mirror and find you favorite person in the whole wide world there. You know, we all grow up and become those shoulders to cry on for others. The pep talk givers and silent and strong supporters who keep egging our friends and family on to do their best.  

Why do we not offer ourselves that favor? Who told us that we shouldn’t tell ourselves that we are nearly there, we can do it, we are the best! I don’t know! I’ve realized that giving yourself a little pep talk every day helps you keep those inner monsters at bay and get ready to face the day and life head on. 

So, my dear, go find that mirror now and throw a kiss to your and mine, our favorite person in the whole world.