Friday, October 16, 2015

All is Not Well!

There are days when you feel life flowing through your veins...you see everything with rose tinted glasses and you feel happy about life. And then there are days as these when you have to struggle hard not to end up in tears. 

You put up a brave face and get through the day even when you know that all you want to do is curl up on the bed and cry. 

It has been a tough week, a week where I've tried to do everything right...I'm on diet for weight loss, you see. 

I dont know if it's the scale or if it's me, but the needle seems dutifully stuck at the same point, day after day. It's as though it is silently mocking me and all the idiotic efforts I'm putting in, including calory counting and healthy eating. 

I am tired, embarrassed...and upset, and without anyone to confide in. So there you go, my precious little blog, you'll have to be my voice board for now. 

When everyone around you can't see beyond how you look, it pricks. You want to show the world that you're more than what meets the eye. You CAN lose weight, but will never trust another person to see the real you. When people closest to you choose to mock rather than motivate and tells how they'd choose to be with someone else because of the way you look, it hurts. When ultimatums are issued and you're made to feel small, you'll know what pain means. You want to tell them that "I'll lose my pounds but you'll never stop being a jackass!". And still you hesitate, because you dont know if you'll lose those pounds or not.

What an effing mockery I've made of myself with the self motivating talks and all the time spent on meal planning and work outs.

Not my best day! But this too shall pass!