Sunday, April 3, 2011

Sunday Ponderings: How Long Before I Call You A Friend?

Hello everyone,

I mentioned that I am back to blogging, but I have remained a lazy and neglectful of my blogging responsibilities....(bad, bad me!!!). I wonder if I should take a break from blogging at times, but feel that I have gained too many friends out here whom I do not wish to lose touch with. Although, I haven't met any of you in person, I feel that I've got a bunch of friends in virtual world who know me better than people who've known me for a long time in the real world. Which brings me to the question for this week...

How long does it take for someone to be called a friend? How long before you stop looking at that familiar stranger as that...a stranger, and call him or her a friend...someone you joke and laugh with, someone you share your worries with, someone you'd be yourself with... 

My answer? For someone like me, who consider herself a social misfit, it normally takes a very very long time before placing enough trust on someone to call them a friend. But one thing is for sure...I'd call someone a friend if they made me laugh...are unassuming and little self deprecating...One thing I have noticed is that in virtual world, I've shed my shyness and found friends in no time at all. So I'd say that for me, the time to call someone a friend would depend upon how soon they'll make me laugh...or smile...that's when I'd let my guard down and call him or her a friend. 

On that note, I'd like to thank all of you once again...for the friendship you've shared with me....for making me so welcome, for making me feel not like a social misfit but a friend....Thank You! 

And I ask long before you call that someone a friend?

Signing Off



  1. I don't think you would lose many of us if you took a break (unless it was like a year or so!) As for friends in "real life" (as opposed to social media) it takes me months, or even years, as I've been badly burned rather often and I don't really trust people that much. Sad but true.

  2. It is the same in the virtual world, as in real life.

    It is trust, honesty, laughter - it probably takes longer on line, because people can hide a lot more and much easier, but I am trusting to a fault, so...I can't give a time frame, per say, but I wouldn't think it would be much different between the two.

    And I would never guess you as a social misfit - you are too darn much fun, entertaining and caring. You always make me smile.

  3. [That first sentence should say "It is the same in the virtual world as in real life TO ME."

    Oops, left out the "to me" part. I didn't want to "make up a rule" or be so definitive. Sorry about that. :D

  4. Sometimes it takes a while for me too Cat but I knew after reading just a couple of your energetic posts that I wanted Cat for a friend and you would never loose me even if you did decide to take a break. One of my friends stopped blogging resently but I have an email address and stay connected that way. I have gone back to my list of those I follow and have stopped following a lot of blogs, mostly those that haven't posted a blog in months. Hang in there girl, we need you for who you are and you are very much appreciated.

  5. I consider a person a friend when they show they care about my feelings, whether that is online or in person. If someone shows compassion to the things I'm going through, instead of always trying to give me the "oh really, but I..." attitude, as if nothing I have to say can quite rival what they are going through or what they have to say.

    The virtual world has definitely let me "let my hair hang down" so to speak. I'm much more relaxed online than in real person. I'm still the same in being considerate of other's, wanting to help others, and ready to lend a hand or an ear. But, I rarely share very much of myself - the real me - to those who know me in person. I'm very shy and very much a social misfit. I either talk not at all or too much and have never found the acceptable level. I don't "over" talk about "me" or anything like that, but find it hard to just socialize.

    You take a break and I'm sure we'll still be around when you get back. I think we all need a break from things every once in a while.

  6. I've discovered that most people in the blogging world are very loyal and stick by you no matter how long you take a break for as long as you know what's happening. One of the people I am a devoted follower of disappeared for 7 months but came back to a ton of support and a loyal readership.

    In terms of trying to answer your question for me it depends on the situation I meet people in be that virtual or otherwise. Yesterday for example I met several people who I now consider to be friends and we are planning our next group meeting in June. I do think laughter and shared experiences does play a large part.

    I suppose for me I would rather treat every new person as a potential friend. If they let me down in the future I can stop being friends with them. But I would not want to put up unnecessary barriers because of past experiences I have had.

  7. I certainly wouldn't have put you down as a social misfit either, Cat! Sometimes you can meet someone and just 'click' immediately and become friends almost instantly. With others, it can take longer. If you did decide to take a little break, we would all still be here waiting until you return! I always enjoy reading your Blog posts, so hang on in there.

  8. Hmmm I think it depends on how much time I've spent with them, how well I get to know them, and what their other friends are like. You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep.

  9. Now, look at all the responses you received....I think you have some very loyal followers.

    As for me some people become friends immediately, where as some have taken a long time to be brought into my circle of friends. It depends on the person and their sense of humor does have a lot to do with it. Someone can't be my friend if they don't know how to "PLAY." kt

  10. I'd like to think my followers and readers are my friends. :)

  11. I like Doria's thoughts... but I find it super hard to make offline friends.

    I started my blog, expecting my real life friends and family would comment, and here it's mainly other bloggers who read and care and comment and connect.

    So... I guess I am sort of useless in answering your question. lol.



  12. I have a very small number of friends- by choice. They are people that I connect with on a very deep/ kindred level. It's funny because with each one of them, I knew after our first conversation (usually connecting over some shared idiosyncrasy) that we would be close friends.

    I've missed you, too ;-)

  13. Hey everyone needs a break. You won't lose me. BTW...congrats on 100!!

  14. Awe, I love this post! It's great that you've shed your shyness and that you are allowing yourself to get out there and make friends, and so terrific that you are taking the time to acknowledge your new friends....awe, I love this post! :)

  15. I feel the same way about my blog friends. They're the only reasons I come back sometimes.

  16. Cat- I'm a friend! Are you? Still following here... and would continue, even if you took a break for a while. I completely understand the need for breaks. And it's hard to keep up with all the blogs, too. But I try to do my best, and pop in to see all who take the time to follow me--and even some who don't (although w/my schedule, it can sometimes take while!).

  17. It's not a question I've ever thought about. I think I try to just accept what I can get.

  18. I have found that I am just like you- through blogging I have easily let down my guard and gratefully so! I've met so many new people, many of whom I do consider friends!

  19. You are an ecdemomaniac, well according to your blog title anyway! Love it.

    Glad to find your blog.

  20. The loyalty online friends show has been an incredible revelation. Just goes to show how warm most people are.

  21. Hmmm. This is a good question. In the past I used to be less receptive to making new friends, holding my closest friends tight, but, in a way, blogging has changed that. In addition to blog buddies, I've made new real life.

  22. @li: You sound just like me...

    @SkippyMom: Aww.....thanks...and I agree with your is indeed easier to hide a lot more in virtual world.

    @Odie: Thank you so always make me smile...and what more could I ask for in a friend...!

    @Teresa: I understand what you're saying about not talking at all or too're not the only one...:)

    @Happy Frog: That's a nice way of looking at a potential friend...I should try that...

    @Thisisme: I agree...It 'clicked' immediately for me with my best friend at work the day I met her...and we have been friends since then.

    @Becca: Thank you... :)

    @On my Soapbox: I agree...

    @Kt: I like to think I have some great friends...:)

    @Doria: Same here...:)

    @StephanieC: :D I had tried to do that with my first blog but no one really read that blog...and now that I blog anonymously, everyone seems to be curious....!

    @A Cappelli: That's a nice thing, A.

    @Copyboy: Thanks a bunch...:)

    @Sandra: Thank you...:)

    @Mrs.Hyde: I understand...and I agree

    @Jayne: Of course, count me in...:)

    @Lynda: That's a nice way of looking at it...

    @EmptyNester: Same here...and I like that feeling.

    @Wanton Redhead writing: Thanks for coming by...:)

    @Ramesh: I agree...

    @Her Highness: I'm yet to meet a few of my blogging friends...but I'd love to, some day.


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