Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Break Up

She sits at the coffee table…reading a random romantic story she had found online….ear plugs plugged in and a soft melody humming inside her head…She sips water from a glass which smelled strongly of whiskey, and as though the smell intoxicated her, she laughs, while in her heart, she wants to cry…she wants to cry endlessly, allowing her tears to drop into the glass she held… yet she laughs…she laughs silently…reminiscing about how she had laughed with her best friend while talking about the end of her relationship. A relationship she had clung on to for three long years. 

There was nothing hilarious but they hadn't been able to stop laughing after a point, giggling like two care free girls in their teens.  She wondered why her emotions worked in reverse, while hugging herself, resting her chin on her left arm and listening to the singer croon into her ears.

 She craved for someone to talk to, someone who would listen to her, who would sit by her patiently, and would even let her cry onto their shoulder. she found herself praying hard for someone, anyone, who would talk to her, listen to her talk, make her laugh, keep her company…if not nothing, then at least sit by her silently, letting themselves immerse effortlessly in the comfortable silence. 

She feels something crumpling inside her, bit by bit, turning into gravel and dropping into a deep pit with no end. She try crying, praying aloud and keeping herself engaged in meaningless activity, browsing aimlessly through multitude of websites without really reading or looking through any of it…a little voice in her mind whispering the whole time that she was trying to get herself detached from the depressing loneliness that’s eating into her…

When the little spurts of energy hit her during the interim of gloom and depression, she laughs and does a little play act, brushing her tears off, about what happened at office, or what she is thinking, or what is worrying her to the absent audience, to the invisible listener, to herself, to the void in the room. She swigs the wine she has poured herself, and laugh yet again, a laugh that sounds a little bit crazy even to her. 

The song plays on and on, put on the repeat mode, as the intoxication from the wine hits her nerves. She feels herself being inebriated with the wine.  She sense the sadness melting…and is aware that this…this sense of calm, peace is fleeting but choose to cling on to it…and set out on a walk into the cold, misty evening, hoping that the walk will take her away from her troubles, from her worries, her woes, and her life for a little time.

16 comments:

  1. hugs to you.....I hope that it's not a true story...but thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way darlin

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  2. It's hard to know what to do next when your emotions are dragging you every which way. Give yourself time. Things will eventually be clearer.

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  3. Hope that you're okay and that this is just a part of a story...

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  4. Beautifully written with emotions pouring forth, I hope the peace that came towards the end last. Breaking up is hard to do.

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  5. @Colenic: Thank you....*hug*...nope, not a true story...

    @On my Soapbox: Thanks....I am okay though it was written when I was having a difficult time...

    @Asian Angel: I am okay...thanks...:)

    @Shopgirl: Thank you....and I agree, breaking up is hard to do.

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  6. What a beautifully written post Cat. It really pulled at my heartstrings, and I was so glad to read above that it was NOT a true story. Phew! It almost could have been.

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  7. waaaao!!! you make the flow of the story so swift and moving as if we're seeing everything in front of our eyes..n m relieved it's not a true story!

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  8. You had me going for a bit sweet thang until I knew it was not a current truth concerning you. You sure are a gifted writer my friend. Such emotion and feeling. Wonderful post. Keep up the good work and have a wonderful day.
    Odie

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  9. hugs and you are an amazing writer so it isn't true though i can tell that it came from a place of sincere emotion

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  10. Break ups are rough, even if it's a willing one. You captured those emotions beautifully.

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  11. It's good to see that you can put the negative feelings of a real life experience into your post. x

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  12. Wonderful writing and a powerful story. You are very talented oh little furry caterpillar!

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  13. I think I lost you as a follower? Not showing up in my list. I hope I didn't offend or upset you in anyway. I always enjoy your comments. Hugs!!

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  14. @Thisisme: Nope, not a true story...I'm glad to see you back...

    @Aayushi: Thanks dear...:)

    @Odie: Thank you....

    @becca: Yup, I agree...it is based on something I've gone through...though not really a break up....and thanks....:)

    @Doria: Aww...thanks

    @Nari: I agree on you view about break ups.

    @Happy Frog: All I can say is I tried....thanks

    @Facing50: Awww thank you....that's sweet of you.

    @Katherine: Thank you....*hugs*

    @Bouncin' Barb: How can I ever be upset with the Bloggy Godmother...no way.....*hugs*

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