You gossiped about me behind my back...maybe I'll just avoid you...you took my project idea...no problem, I'll just be more discreet....you tried to hit me on the head with a club...hey, hey, hey....I'm still alive and that's what I should be glad for, right?...you get the general idea??? Yeah, that's me alright.
I have always had trouble confronting people when a problem comes up and choose to walk away from the issue, bubbling and boiling inside, rather than stand my ground and tell them what I really think. Every time I come across a situation I feel would result in a confrontation, I sense my palms getting sweaty, heart beating rapidly and myself clamming up, not being able to think through the haze that clouds my mind. I normally choose to remain silent than talk (what'd I talk anyways, when I've lost my ability to even think) and get upset about something that happened or was said without trying to sort it out. Sometimes, I wonder if I am the reincarnation of the household doormat.
I've been trying to get over my fear of confrontation for some time now...and an opportunity presented itself on last Friday. I have a friend who works in a different location from mine. Let’s call him the Techie Guy…So, I have occasional chats with him and we have become good friends over the last few months. It has been a good friendship so far, and I’m glad that’s been the case…
On last Friday, around the time I was going to get out from work, I did my regular bye’s n take care’s and the Techie Guy said something to the tune of…”it will get boring once you leave”, and pray why would that be?, coz I’m “just someone to talk to!!!” as per his conversational snippet…
It would be fair to say I was upset…and angry of course. Any guesses what I did next? I chose to ignore the comment and act like nothing happened…but then, I felt I didn’t want to leave it unaddressed and dropped hints that I was irritated without really telling him why I was irritated. I logged off, fuming at him and cursing myself for clamming up yet again and not doing anything about it.
On my way back home, I played back in my mind all those times when I had chosen to walk away rather than face an issue and sort it out and the repercussions of my decision to do so. And I decided that it was time I told people how I really felt instead of trying to be nice just because I didn’t want to hurt anyone else.
So, that’s exactly what I did. Since, I have a work from home option, I logged right back into office network once I was back home. I didn’t take time to think about what I was doing because I knew that the more I thought about it, the higher the chances of my dropping the plan.
As soon as I logged in, I tried checking to see if he was still online…and once I found him, I messaged him without stopping to think about it twice. After the initial pleasantries, I got directly to the point and told him about what had irritated me…and why it had irritated me.
He appeared genuinely apologetic and said it was a mistake he wouldn’t repeat… I felt like I had a boulder taken off my chest and sensed myself relaxing… I know…it is no big deal…it was just a misunderstanding cleared up. But for me, it was the first time I had told a friend what I really thought and realized that it was alright to do that. On second thoughts I wouldn’t even call it a real confrontation but then, I’m glad I did it anyways…!
So then, yeah, that’s why I chose to call this post